Podbit · 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
The Two Bears 5K is back on May 9th at the Pasadena Rose Bowl — part fun run, part comedy festival, all chaotic. Bert Kreischer will be there, Tom Segura will not, and a lineup including Matt Rife, Mark Norman, and Miss Pat will make up the difference. Bert plans to smoke weed instead of drink.
Where this was said
At 41:15 · chapter starts 31:10
Picking up from the Tracy Morgan morning show discussion, Bert, Tom, and Ari dissect the genuine absurdity of comedy promotional morning show appearances. Tom recalls realizing almost nobody watching a 7 AM news show is actually going to buy a ticket, which led him to invent a fake DJ alter ego and fake after-parties just to generate clips. Bert adds that Sam Morril has mastered the modern version — going for genuinely hard jokes and using the horrified hosts as reaction content. [1] — Bert Kreischer "Daniel Tosh cracked the code on morning radio promotions: he did his tightest bits but presented them as genuine answers to interview quest…" 38:55 But the consensus gold standard is Daniel Tosh, who did tight stand-up material without signaling to the hosts that he was doing bits, turning what could be a throwaway promo into a proper performance. Ari briefly recounts returning from Ecuador and rediscovering the dissonance of New Jersey conservative morning radio.
Studies cited in the BetterHelp ad read show 88% of Americans report feeling some form of financial stress.
Daniel Tosh cracked the code on morning radio promotions: he did his tightest bits but presented them as genuine answers to interview questions. The hosts had no idea. The audience murdered. And unlike DJing or fake after-party stunts, it actually sold tickets.
After returning from Ecuador, Ari borrowed a crash pad in New Jersey and discovered that New Jersey conservative talk radio sounds exactly like a morning zoo — flipping seamlessly between top-5 blueberry facts and anti-mask commentary. It's a surreal snapshot of a medium most people have completely forgotten exists.
Robby Hoffman has never bought a depreciating car. She flipped a $3,600 Toyota Corolla into a $6,000 sale, used that for a Cayman, flipped it for $18,000, and bought her dream 2001 Porsche 911 for a net $10,000.
Ryan carries the Sig P365 for daily carry and a suppressed .300 Blackout rifle at home — specifically because green-tip .223 flies through human bodies and walls, risking his kids' rooms. Strickland carries the Sig P365 AXG and a PSA AR-15 in .223. They debate why .300 Blackout matters for home defense and mock Staccato owners in equal measure.
Bobby never checks a bag — for any trip, including Australia. His secret: one pair of raw denim jeans (to develop a fade), sardine cans as in-flight snacks, and a Klingon hunting knife on his keychain. Andrew questions everything. Jimmy suggests he just check a bag for two weeks.
The crew drafts their Mount Rushmore of spoon foods. Ice cream goes first overall, soup goes second, and PFT shockingly passes on cereal to take gelato (then mashed potatoes), letting Hank and Zach steal cereal in the third round — a mistake PFT immediately regrets.
At 14, Achatz's father bought a disassembled 1970 GTO for $1,400 and spent two years rebuilding it with his son using the factory manual. The project taught Grant hands-on problem-solving — the same obsessive attention to how things are put together that would later define his kitchen.
A brief promo for Points North, an NPR Network podcast from Interlochen Public Radio featuring immersive stories about the natural world around the Great Lakes.
Sony stopping physical disc production sounds alarming, but Patrick Beja points to PC gaming as the test case: the platform went fully digital via Steam, the used game market disappeared, and yet games are cheaper in real terms than they were 20 years ago thanks to constant sales. The real fight should be for digital consumer rights, not physical media.
Richard recommends Monopoly Deal (the card game version of Monopoly, faster and nastier) and Wilkie Collins's Victorian novel 'No Name', which he says is ripe for a TV adaptation. Marina recommends live tournament football — the only thing on her mind after 1 hour's sleep.
The Campaign for North Africa board game takes roughly 20 years to complete at a reasonable pace, and no one has ever actually finished it. Pierre already knows the Italian forces need extra water for pasta, which is technically accurate to the rules.
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