Podbit · 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
After returning from Ecuador, Ari borrowed a crash pad in New Jersey and discovered that New Jersey conservative talk radio sounds exactly like a morning zoo — flipping seamlessly between top-5 blueberry facts and anti-mask commentary. It's a surreal snapshot of a medium most people have completely forgotten exists.
Where this was said
At 40:00 · chapter starts 31:10
Picking up from the Tracy Morgan morning show discussion, Bert, Tom, and Ari dissect the genuine absurdity of comedy promotional morning show appearances. Tom recalls realizing almost nobody watching a 7 AM news show is actually going to buy a ticket, which led him to invent a fake DJ alter ego and fake after-parties just to generate clips. Bert adds that Sam Morril has mastered the modern version — going for genuinely hard jokes and using the horrified hosts as reaction content. [1] — Bert Kreischer "Daniel Tosh cracked the code on morning radio promotions: he did his tightest bits but presented them as genuine answers to interview quest…" 38:55 But the consensus gold standard is Daniel Tosh, who did tight stand-up material without signaling to the hosts that he was doing bits, turning what could be a throwaway promo into a proper performance. Ari briefly recounts returning from Ecuador and rediscovering the dissonance of New Jersey conservative morning radio.
Studies cited in the BetterHelp ad read show 88% of Americans report feeling some form of financial stress.
Daniel Tosh cracked the code on morning radio promotions: he did his tightest bits but presented them as genuine answers to interview questions. The hosts had no idea. The audience murdered. And unlike DJing or fake after-party stunts, it actually sold tickets.
The Two Bears 5K is back on May 9th at the Pasadena Rose Bowl — part fun run, part comedy festival, all chaotic. Bert Kreischer will be there, Tom Segura will not, and a lineup including Matt Rife, Mark Norman, and Miss Pat will make up the difference. Bert plans to smoke weed instead of drink.
A broken pipe turned the Bad Friends studio into a hydrogen sulfide chamber. The crew denied smelling anything — which, as Andrew pointed out, makes their home lives deeply suspicious.
At a childhood sleepover in Sacramento, Bobby Lee's friends drew penises all over his face while he slept. He woke up, cried, and walked 7 miles down a dirt road before Eric Purvis's mom drove out to retrieve him.
On KSI's Make Me Laugh show, Bobby Lee got slapped so hard he fell and briefly blacked out — 5 minutes into the event. The rule was to use a tortilla, but the contestant used his bare hand instead.
What starts as a riff on Amber Alerts turns into an elaborate Speed remake: Bobby is a Hollywood tour guide whose bus shares a route with a kidnapper's identical bus, there's a bomb on board, and Keanu Reeves needs to be called immediately.
Their producer riffs a conspiracy theory about Lindsey Graham's death in Kyiv, which somehow leads to Bobby and Andrew discovering that every lyric of 'A Whole New World' from Aladdin secretly describes 9/11. They are disturbingly convincing.
Bobby Lee woke up Saturday morning to find three children splashing in his pool, along with a professionally hired swimming teacher — all arranged by friends who have keys to his house. His response: 'There's just too much joy here.'
Harold Ramis told a story about Caddyshack's cast doing drugs all day and night during Florida storm delays, with half their pay going to cocaine. Bobby Lee immediately wants to make that exact movie — and offers to relapse to do it.
Robby Hoffman had never heard of 'new towels.' A towel, in her world, was built with the house. When Sarah Silverman announced she'd bought new pool towels, it was a class-gap revelation.
Will Arnett pitched the perfect rich-person home for Robby: seven-hundred-thread-count sheets and brand-new towels — but a tiny, wrecked kitchen with a coil stove, chips, and Sprite. Best of both worlds.
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