Podbit · Pardon My Take
Jersey Jerry called in live from his dog walk to deliver an unprompted Mr. Bing Bong speech, defending Hank while simultaneously roasting him about Paul George and threatening to be 'balls deep' inside Hank if the Patriots don't succeed. Classic Jerry.
Where this was said
At 38:00 · chapter starts 0:00
Big Cat ticks through the full litany of Hank's sports misery this year: the Patriots' Super Bowl loss, Live Golf's cancellation, Celtics losing to the Sixers in the playoffs while at Max's bachelor party, Duke's buzzer-beater loss, soccer becoming huge and the US beating Bosnia-Herzegovina, and the Knicks title. Hank's list also includes being forced to golf as a lefty with a righty handicap and the USA beating the Dominican Republic. The crew wonders aloud if this Jaylen Brown trade is finally rock bottom — the only direction being up — but Hank refuses to commit because acknowledging a bottom might invite something worse. Big Cat offers increasingly bad spin zones about the wedding being easier now that everyone has one conversation topic, and about Paul George's infamous dog photo.
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The Philadelphia 76ers had 100-to-1 odds on DraftKings Sportsbook to acquire Jaylen Brown — the worst odds of any team in the NBA. They landed him anyway, sending the Pardon My Take crew into full emergency podcast mode.
DraftKings Sportsbook had the Philadelphia 76ers at 100-to-1 — the worst odds in the NBA — to acquire Jaylen Brown before the trade happened.
Hank learned Jaylen Brown was traded to the Sixers while stranded on a wedding island full of the DeLente family — avid Sixers fans. Small talk was dead. Every conversation became a bing bong.
A broken pipe turned the Bad Friends studio into a hydrogen sulfide chamber. The crew denied smelling anything — which, as Andrew pointed out, makes their home lives deeply suspicious.
At a childhood sleepover in Sacramento, Bobby Lee's friends drew penises all over his face while he slept. He woke up, cried, and walked 7 miles down a dirt road before Eric Purvis's mom drove out to retrieve him.
On KSI's Make Me Laugh show, Bobby Lee got slapped so hard he fell and briefly blacked out — 5 minutes into the event. The rule was to use a tortilla, but the contestant used his bare hand instead.
What starts as a riff on Amber Alerts turns into an elaborate Speed remake: Bobby is a Hollywood tour guide whose bus shares a route with a kidnapper's identical bus, there's a bomb on board, and Keanu Reeves needs to be called immediately.
Their producer riffs a conspiracy theory about Lindsey Graham's death in Kyiv, which somehow leads to Bobby and Andrew discovering that every lyric of 'A Whole New World' from Aladdin secretly describes 9/11. They are disturbingly convincing.
Bobby Lee woke up Saturday morning to find three children splashing in his pool, along with a professionally hired swimming teacher — all arranged by friends who have keys to his house. His response: 'There's just too much joy here.'
Harold Ramis told a story about Caddyshack's cast doing drugs all day and night during Florida storm delays, with half their pay going to cocaine. Bobby Lee immediately wants to make that exact movie — and offers to relapse to do it.
Robby Hoffman had never heard of 'new towels.' A towel, in her world, was built with the house. When Sarah Silverman announced she'd bought new pool towels, it was a class-gap revelation.
Will Arnett pitched the perfect rich-person home for Robby: seven-hundred-thread-count sheets and brand-new towels — but a tiny, wrecked kitchen with a coil stove, chips, and Sprite. Best of both worlds.
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