Quote · 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Patrice O’Neal Destroyed Me | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Where this was said
Funerals Vs Celebration Of Life
At 51:40 · chapter starts 48:31
Bert has clearly thought about this. Rob Lowe is a non-negotiable must. John Stamos. Dax Shepard. Joe Rogan — if Joe doesn't show, Bert instructs his audience to attack him online for the rest of his life. Adam Sandler can send a video, and actually that might be better. [1] — Bert Kreischer "Bert has a strict funeral guest list: Rob Lowe is a must, Sandler can send a video, Joe Rogan must come or face online attacks forever, and…" 51:40 Bert texts Nikki Glaser live on air to warn her she is expected. He would attend Sebastian Maniscalco's funeral (Italian, kiss cheese, he would do an amazing job expressing condolences), Tim Dillon's (the catering will be incredible), and Ari Shaffir's — largely because he wants to witness the collision of the comedy world with Ari's hardcore Brooklyn family members who have no idea who any of these people are. He would not go to Kevin Hart's, which would be inconvenient and massive. Tom's list is shorter: Joe Rogan, Mark Norman (because New Orleans beignets), Chris DeStefano (bring gay escorts, pull your dick out, that's what Chris would want).
Bert has a strict funeral guest list: Rob Lowe is a must, Sandler can send a video, Joe Rogan must come or face online attacks forever, and Ari Shaffir's funeral will be a chaotic collision of comedy world and hardcore Brooklyn family members who have no idea who anyone is. Nikki Glaser gets a Siri text warning she is expected.
