Snapshot · Smosh Reads Reddit Stories
Shayne explained the famous Reddit 'poop knife' story — a man discovered his family's bathroom knife for breaking up large stools was not a universal household item when he visited his girlfriend's family.
Where this was said
At 55:00 · chapter starts 51:55
After the Zoom call story triggers a digression about Jared's early pandemic stand-up experience, the group devolves into a deeply enjoyable conversation about bodily functions and FaceTime etiquette. Jared wonders whether it's appropriate to burp while on a family FaceTime call from your own home; Chanse says yes and Shayne gives a context-dependent ruling. Jared then delivers his closing philosophical monologue: while getting ready, he heard his own fart and felt a sudden wave of empathy — his butt is just a 'sweet little butt' that has no awareness of social norms. Shayne wraps up with a brief explanation of the famous Reddit poop knife story for uninitiated listeners (Jared and Chanse), before all three say goodbye and wish the audience a happy Pride.
Jared Goldstein's first Zoom stand-up show was on March 15, 2020 — day one of pandemic lockdowns. He performed five minutes of jokes in silence thinking he was bombing, then finally heard laughter and realized the audience had been muted the whole time. A masterclass in bad timing.
Jared Goldstein performed five minutes of stand-up on a Zoom charity show in March 2020 without realizing the audience audio was muted — he thought he was bombing in silence until he finally heard laughs.
Shayne Topp recounted the legendary Reddit 'poop knife' story: a man who grew up with a family bathroom knife specifically for breaking up large stools visited his girlfriend's family and confidently asked where their poop knife was — only to discover his family was the only one that had one.
Jared Goldstein ended the episode by sharing a genuine realization: his butt has no idea that anyone is offended by its natural functions. It's just a sweet little butt doing its best. Hard to argue with that.
Greenberg's research mapped all human intrinsic values and found they cluster into 22 categories, including longevity, connection, nature, and spirituality.
Performing composure is not the same as having composure — emotionally sensitive people who suppress their feelings are acting a role, not resolving the underlying feeling.
Emotional sensitivity is the raw input signal and emotional intelligence is the cultivated output — meaning sensitivity is a prerequisite for high EQ, not an obstacle to it.
Men who appear emotionally avoidant are frequently emotionally sensitive individuals who were never given tools or permission to explore their sensitivity, so they default to withdrawal.
Being ghosted is particularly damaging for sensitive people because their brain doesn't interpret it as the relationship ending — it interprets it as evidence of personal insufficiency.
Kierkegaard's concept of anxiety as 'the dizziness of freedom' predates Freud's psychological framework by roughly 60 years, yet modern research has since validated his core claims about commitment and identity.
Between 2003 and 2020, Americans accumulated roughly 24 extra hours per month spent alone — the equivalent of a part-time job's worth of isolation, and that's before the pandemic.
Median age at first marriage climbed from 21 (women) and 23 (men) in the 1970s to nearly 29 (women) and 30 (men) today — a rise of 6–8 years per gender, extending the 'emerging adulthood' liminal phase.
San Francisco's average rent rose 18% over the past two years to $3,728/month, surpassing New York City as the most expensive rental market in the country.
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